Sunshine

I've been crying in my beer all day about the monsoon conditions that are looming over my otherwise fabulous weekend party plans. I made a trek to the big city today to get a special lens to take perfect pictures of the birthday party, but my stomach was literally in knots thinking about 40 people stuffed in our home sitting on each other's laps. It was one tiny break in the clouds that let one tiny ray of sun shine on Portland that inspired me to open my car window. I hit my door locks when I spied a beggar on the next corner, and swore when the light went red.

I was 3 yards from a human being with a sign in his hands asking for help. If my window was up, I would have pretended he didn't exist, but here he was and he smiled at me when I said hello. I gave him my full coffee punch card for a free cup. He was so appreciative, and I was so ashamed. Two people on a corner-one has and one has not. And I've been feeling so sorry for myself all day because it may or may not rain on Saturday at 4pm. Distraught that we had so many people that wanted to come to my daughter's party. Irritated that the pony I rented would have to give rides in the garage instead of the yard. Toting around a card that shows I've treated my lucky little self to TEN Dutch Brothers coffees. Meanwhile, this man has been standing in the rain watching the "have"s go by. Shame on me. SHAME!

I have one bumper sticker on my car: "Be the change you want to see in the world. Gandhi". It is my favorite mantra. I translate it as "if you don't like assholes, don't be an asshole". Maybe it should be on my dash so I can see it!

I will be grateful this very instant. And I will have a bag of helpful things in my car for any needy person I find when I go back to the city on Monday. I do not care one small bit about the circumstances that put a person on a corner. It makes no difference. I like to believe that every person is doing the very best that they can, and I should too.